Ripple Effect Leader Spotlight: Christopher Bylone van Sandwyk

Christopher is a husband, father, belonging expert, self-proclaimed corporate activist and someone I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know the last few years through the QueeHR community. What started as a virtual friendship thankfully led to a spontaneous in-person meetup in Times Square earlier this year. I was in town for a wedding, Christopher was visiting the city for work, and after spotting his selfie on LinkedIn, I hopped on the 1 train to meet him 20 minutes later!

His infectious energy, unapologetic authenticity and big smile light up the spaces he’s in. Krispy Kreme is lucky to have Christopher's expertise where he serves as the Global Head of Belonging; Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, & Accessibility.

I’m thrilled to spotlight Christopher Bylone van Sandwyk and share his thoughts on leadership with you!

What would you like our readers to know about you?

I am a gay, white, cisgender male who grew up on a farm in southern New Jersey, was a member of a dance company throughout high school and participated in every school musical I could! Senior year they made a role just for me – Male Dance Captain!

23 years later, I now live in the Charlotte Metro area with my husband and two sons, whom we adopted out of the foster care system while we were living in Connecticut. I love the outdoors. When I am not working, you will find me outside in the garden. However, now that we have moved to the south I am struggling with the heat. Global Warming is real, people!

What’s important and meaningful to you about your work?

Very few people in the world get to have a role that is more than a job; for me, it’s a calling. I know I was put on this planet to be the corporate activist that makes space for others to be their bold, authentic selves. While being in the Belonging, Inclusion, Diversity, Equity, & Accessibility space can be draining at times, I would not trade this for any other line of work! Each day I get to make the world just a bit more inclusive than the day before.

It is not lost on me that being an out gay man in executive-level roles in corporate America is still a thing that makes headlines. So it is important to me to be visibly gay. In the words of Harvey Milk, “It’s not my victory, it’s yours and yours and yours. If a gay can win, it means there is hope that the system can work for all minorities if we fight. We’ve given them hope.”

I want (no, I need) for a young child in some remote part of the world who is starting to figure out who they are to see someone like them who has had success in their life. I need them to know that no matter how dark their day may feel, if they keep walking forward there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

What does it mean to “bring your authentic self” to work? How do you practice this?

There is this amazing poem titled “My Declaration of Self-Esteem” by Virginia Satir. It starts with “I AM ME” and ends with “I AM OKAY” and there is a line that reads “However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment is authentically me.”

This brings so much power to me. It allows me to just be ME, not someone others want me to be. I lose touch with that sometimes and conform so much that I start to lose who I am. However, this poem brings me right back!

It goes on to say, “If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting and keep the rest.” I know that I will make mistakes and that is part of being human. However, I am not the sum of my mistakes and neither is anyone else. I approach my work in the same way.

I know there will be folks who say racist, sexist, or homophobic things; it does not always mean they are bigoted. Sometimes giving people the same grace you give yourself will open a door to a conversation that will be life-changing. We won't know until we open that door. With that said, I do not expect everyone to give others grace…sometimes I find that I do not have strength. And that is okay too. Try next time.

What is your definition of leadership?

That is the 1.6 billion dollar question! There are a few things that ring true for me about what good leadership looks like.

• Be kind. No one likes and wants to follow an asshat.

• Only ask your team to do things you are willing to do yourself.

• Model balance. Be the leader that demonstrates that you can be in a leadership position and still have a life outside of the role. People need to see that leadership is not all-consuming. Family and friends matter, too!

With that said, I like to practice what I call “Web Leadership.” Picture a spider web. They are flat and interconnected. The spider sits in the center waiting to feel movement somewhere on the web. The web is designed to know exactly where the movement comes from no matter how far from the center the movement is.

For me, I like to create teams in the same way. Every person (joints in the spider web) has a role to play, no one is more important than the other. Yes, as we get to the center of the web, folks have more responsibilities and accountabilities. However, the role on the outermost part of the web is just as vital to keeping the organization alive.

How has your coming out journey and/or identity strengthened who you are as a leader?

Looping back to the Harvey Milk quote, being out freed me. It allowed me to be unapologetic and authentically me! In turn, it allows me to be a fully present leader. I also know the struggles I had when I was younger and some of those struggles still happen today. This keeps me grounded in not forgetting where I came from. Others are still in that place of struggle, and I need to be the strong one so they have something to hold onto until they can get their balance back.

What is something you still struggle with as a leader who identifies as LGBTQ+?

This might sound childish, however, what takes me back a few steps is when someone responds with “You only have that opinion because you are gay.” And there is a voice in the back of my head that says it even when others do not. I am super aware that my gayness lives 10 feet in front of me. While being gay impacts my worldview, it does not mean I only see a gay world.

What resources do you tap into for support?

My network, hands down!! My network has saved my life more times than I want to count. However, my network is only here for me because I am here for my network. It is like feeding your soul; if you do not feed your network and keep it healthy…when you need it, it will not be there for you. So take care of your network.

I am not going to mention names because I know I will forget someone, or we won't have enough room to include them. So, if you are reading this, you are part of my network, and thank you for being a resource when I need it. I am right here to return the favor!

Tell us about something you’re especially proud of - work or non-work related.

I am super proud of my two sons, Derek and Jacob. They came into our lives in February 2020, weeks before the pandemic started. While the COVID-19 pandemic was awful and lives were lost, my family being forced to be together 24/7 for months on end was the best thing that happened to us. It was like I had endless amounts of family leave when I needed it most.

3 years later, these boys who are now becoming young men have flourished during their time with us. Our oldest only has 2 years left of high school at the time of writing this article…so I am not ready for him to venture off on his own path just yet. However, I know they both are going to do great things in life and will change the world in their own unique ways.

What excites you about the future of work/leadership?

What excites me is that bullshitters do not have the power to succeed. The pandemic did have a positive outcome; it made society wake up and call bullshit on bad leadership! We are done with those who are trying to con their way into positions of power. This is the best dose of medicine the world of leadership could have gotten.

Now let's take that manure and grow some really fabulous vegetables and flower gardens! The world can never get enough color!

What else would you like to share?

Stay fabulous! No seriously, be your bold authentic self! Show the world just how awesome you are!

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For more information about the QueeHR community we’re building, you can visit my community page and request to join our LinkedIn group. Each spotlight recipient is someone who embodies the core Ripple Effect Leadership values of vulnerability, kindness, empathy, curiosity and humility.